Introduction
Today we will be learning about different kinds of touches and about what you can do if someone touches you in a way you do
not want or like.
Your body belongs to you and you have the right to say who touches them and in what way.
Today we will talk about touches we like, touches we don’t like and touches that confuse us.
Touches I Like
Can you think of an example of good touches you like to give or to get.
“I like it when Dad gives me a big hug or when I high 5 a friend after scoring a goal.”
“I like it when…”
What makes these touches good?
They are touches that make us feel okay, warm, safe and loved.
Examples of good touches include hugs, handshakes, high fives, kisses, back scratches, pats on the head/shoulder, and snuggling or cuddling with someone you love (e.g. when you cuddle up beside Mum/Dad/Granny
watching the TV).
Touches I Don’t Like
What is physical bullying?
How can we hurt or upset others by the way we touch them, e.g., hitting, kicking, etc.
These are all touches we don’t like. A bad touch is a touch that makes you feel bad, uncomfortable, embarrassed or frightened. A bad touch can hurt and can leave a severe bruise, cut, broken bone, or burn.
Can you give an example of touches that people may not like?
How does a bad touch make us feel? (Hurt, uncomfortable, bad, scared)
Confusing Touches
The last type of touch we are going to discuss is called a confusing touch.
A confusing touch is a touch that feels unsafe, mixes you up, or makes you feel uneasy or confused inside. A confusing touch may start out okay, but end up not being okay.
Examples of confusing touches are bear hugs, tickling and kisses from someone you do not know or do not feel
comfortable around.
In this video clip on tickling it shows how a touch that starts out feeling good, ends up feeling bad. It also talks about
the importance of telling someone to stop.
Ask the pupils to give you some other examples of touches that can be confusing, for example, a high five or a slap on the back that is too hard.
What can you do?
In pairs, pupils discuss what they could do in each of the following scenarios.
How best to respond in each situation.
- What if you don’t like it when your Aunt Sarah pinches your cheeks every time she visits and tells you that you’re her favourite niece in the whole world?
- What if your older sister keeps tickling you and won’t stop?
- What if you don’t like it when your football coach slaps you hard on the back every time you score a goal?
- What if you feel uncomfortable every time your Mum asks you to kiss or hug her friends when they are leaving?
Discuss some of the dilemmas and issues which may arise, such as when you want someone to stop but you don’t want to hurt their feelings.
Points for follow-up discussion:
- Sometimes people are not aware of how we feel about a touch and it can be difficult for us to say anything to them. We may need other adults to help us to address these issues, such as a parent or teacher.
- For example, in the Aunt Sarah “what if” situation, perhaps you could tell a parent how you feel and they might then talk to Aunt
Sarah about it. After all you don’t want to upset Aunt Sarah as she clearly thinks the world of you. - It is very important that the pupils get the message that it is always okay to say “No” to a touch they do not want or like.
- Emphasise the importance of saying “No” to keep safe and that it is all right to say “No” to an adult if they are asking you to do
something that is dangerous, wrong or that makes you feel unsafe.
- Can you think of other times when it would be ok to say “NO” to an adult, times when they are made to feel threatened, in
danger or unsafe. Emphasise that it is always okay to say No if you get a bad feeling or a confused feeling about a touch, or if you are asked to do something that threatens your personal safety.
Children should also learn that in these situations if they ask someone to stop then the person should always stop. If not they should tell another adult and get help
Conclusion
We have learned that a good touch is a touch that makes us feel good and warm and safe.
A bad touch is a touch that makes us feel bad, unsafe or scared
A confusing touch is a touch that makes us feel mixed up or confused inside even though it might have started out feeling okay.
If someone touches you in a way you don’t like or that you are not sure about or that you think is wrong, say No in a strong voice and get away to a safe place.
